When you are 13 and the doctor tells you that you have inoperable brain cancer, what do you do?
Feel sorry for yourself, get mad at God and the world, squeeze whatever you can out of life during your remaining time?
Or do what Laurence Carolin, now 15, has done since being diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme, an aggressive brain cancer, which most adults survive only about three years.
Laurence has set a goal – to see the end of extreme poverty in Africa and Southeast Asia before he dies. “I don’t want to be saddened and depressed with my situation. I want to use my time living,” he says. “It’s not a productive use of energy to be wondering why this happened to me. You get nowhere thinking that way.”
Instead, as he has done often in his life, Laurence is thinking of others. His grandmother, Mary Ann Carolin, says that isn’t surprising. “His spirituality has always been to care for others. For example, he is the one who, in elementary school, asked his dad if they could send diapers to the hurricane victims he had just heard about. He is the one who would intervene when things weren’t going well for a classmate. And, recently, his soccer team raised money to help him, but he turned around and donated it to buy soccer nets at the local park for the kids who play there. He lives the social dimension of the Gospel.”
Laurence’s interest and concern with poverty in Africa and Asia are partly the result of his dying wish not being granted. Because he has a life-threatening medical illness, Laurence qualified to make a request through the Make-A-Wish Foundation. He asked to meet members of the Irish rock band U2 and its lead singer, Bono.
That couldn’t be arranged, and a year later Laurence revised his wish, a wish he considers much better than his first one. He asked that the money that Make-A-Wish would have spent on him be given instead to the United Nations Foundation’s fund combating AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria in Africa.
Susan Lerch, president and CEO of Make-A-Wish Foundation of Michigan, said that they will contribute a minimum of $5,000 in honor of Laurence, and will pass on any additional donations made to the UN fund or to Make-A-Wish Foundation.
“We do receive altruistic wishes, but they are rare,” she says. “That he would do this is amazing. I am impressed with his level of maturity and how he has thought through his whole situation and his wish. From Laurence wanting to meet Bono, I could imagine it becoming that Bono will want to meet him.”
Laurence knew that Bono was a big supporter of the UN charity because, while sick, he has done a lot of research through ONE, the campaign and advocacy organization co-founded by Bono, to help fight extreme poverty and preventable disease, particularly in Africa. He can tell you, for instance, that HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria together killed nearly 4.6 million people worldwide in 2007, or that the UN Fund since 2002 has distributed 70 million insecticide-treated bed nets to protect families from malaria.
“That level of death and disease is unacceptable” Laurence says, “and we need to do something about it. In all religions, and among those who have no religion, there is agreement that it is right to help the poor. My aim is to raise awareness among Americans about the conditions in those countries, and encourage them to contact their congressmen to let them know that we care, and that we want government action.
“It is a battle, but one we can win, in the same way that we put a man on the moon or helped in the downfall of the Soviet Union. We have an ethical and moral obligation to help those in need, to help them get back on their feet.”
Laurence’s appreciation of Bono goes beyond simply enjoying his music for music’s sake; Bono’s songs had a big impact on him medically. Before being diagnosed with cancer, his balance suddenly became shaky and he was easily fatigued. Worse, he had inexplicably become depressed and constantly thought about suicide. One of the things he turned to was the music of U2 and the lyrics of some of the songs. “They calmed my mind and gave me hope when I was feeling trapped,” he says. “They kept me from committing suicide. In one song in particular, A Beautiful Day, that I played over and over, the music stops momentarily near the end. During those seconds, I could see in my mind the dark clouds part. It was the neatest thing. It saved my life.”
 Within 24 hours of being diagnosed with the brain tumor, Laurence had emergency surgery, which he looks back upon as a happy experience because the diagnosis explained his symptoms, and the surgery eliminated them by routing his spinal fluid around the tumor.
At the same time, he was frustrated with his new situation. It was then that he decided that rather than dwell on it and live miserably, he would accept it for what it is.
During six weeks of radiation, five days a week, he lost all of his hair except for a couple patches he then shaved. It grew back, but is thinning again as a result of his current treatment. His weight dropped from 106 pounds to 89 at one time. Now, at 5’ 7”, Laurence is back to 104 pounds. In May of this year, an MRI showed that the tumor, which had been decreasing, is growing again. Along with it, his memory has worsened. What happens today he can remember; for the events of yesterday he often needs a reminder. As with his other physical symptoms, though, he doesn’t complain, letting others know only so they won’t be uncomfortable when he has difficulty remembering something.
Laurence rarely attends school because of his condition, but has a tutor help him twice a week. He sleeps 10 hours a night, and often takes a couple of naps during the day. Besides his research, he spends his time playing electric guitar, doing homework, keeping up with world news and the current conditions in Africa and Asia, and even cooking.
Ever since he was 3, Laurence was fascinated by cooking shows on television. He eventually learned to make his own recipes for Korean food. He loves it and often makes it for guests his mother has over.
His mother, Lisa, says that they have received great support from friends and the families at Mill Creek Middle School in Dexter, and from parishioners at St. Joseph Parish where Laurence was baptized and confirmed (he took Luke as his confirmation name since Luke was a physician). On most weekends, friends from school come to his house to be with him and support him.
Lisa and her husband, Patrick, adopted Laurence from South Korea when he was 5 months old. The couple divorced when he was 7, and Patrick since has moved to Tennessee for work, but sees his son often. “He is a fantastic person,” Patrick says. “I think of him as being the way we all pray we would like to be. He has always been a good sport, constantly helping others, Christ-like.”
Lisa says, “I’ve always felt that he was born with compassion. It’s amazing that at his age he knows his priorities, what he wants out of life, and is trying to make it happen. I admire him and am proud of his strength and maturity in a tough situation.”
Laurence acknowledges that having cancer has been rough, and recognizes that it could kill him, yet has never been afraid of dying. “As my grandma points out, ‘Dying is another part of life,’” he says. He knows, too, that his cancer has had at least one benefit – it has given him a platform to get his message out, and an audience. As he says, with a knowing smile, “If I didn’t have cancer, nobody would write about me or listen to me.”
His friends, his family and his music keep him going, and the hope that more people become aware and do something about poverty in Asia and Africa.
Visit www.stjos.com to learn more about Laurence’s parish, St. Joseph, Dexter
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