Motherhood: Rewards outweigh the challenges
by Lisa M. Petsche

Recently I met up with an old friend, and we soon found ourselves comparing notes about our busy family lives and empathizing with each other about the challenges of parenthood. Beneath the surface of our conversation, though, was an implicit understanding that parenting is an incredible experience – one we wouldn’t trade for anything.

This is not something parents tend to articulate very often or in any great detail. We’re much better at describing the trials and tribulations of our vocation: the sleep deprivation in the early years, childhood illnesses and accidents, discipline problems, scheduling issues, endless chauffeuring, struggles to balance work and family, teenager troubles, the financial cost of raising kids and the uncertainty and anxiety along the way.

But then, it’s hard to accurately portray parenthood, given the complexities and contradictions of our roles. It’s exhausting but exhilarating, frightening yet fulfilling.

Raising children truly is an awesome responsibility, one that would overwhelm us if we didn’t take it one phase – sometimes just one day – at a time. By far, it’s the most challenging endeavor I’ve ever been involved in, but also the most meaningful.

Morally, parenthood keeps me on my toes, regularly reflecting on my values and priorities as I strive to be a role model of what it means to be a good person and a faithful Catholic. I’ve also discovered depths of energy, patience and selflessness I didn’t know I had. At the same time, I’ve learned a lot about my weaknesses and limitations, which has been humbling.

Having children has greatly expanded my world and led to a special interest in my community and in social and political issues such as education, family poverty, child protection and environmental sustainability. And now that my kids are in school, I’m continually brushing up on my knowledge in a wide variety of subject areas, and sometimes learning new things, as I help them with homework and special projects and accompany them to museums, science centers and the like.

On the lighter side, parenthood allows for a second childhood of sorts. Once again, I’m riding on swings, skipping, playing hide and seek, collecting rocks, watching parades and going to amusement parks and all sorts of other neat places. Not only is it great fun, but it also brings back pleasant memories, some long-forgotten, from my own childhood.

My kids remind me how to appreciate simple pleasures and live in the moment, and their fondness for silliness is contagious, keeping me from taking life too seriously. My favorite juvenile forms of humor therapy currently include watching SpongeBob SquarePants cartoons and singing along with gusto to “Silly Songs with Larry,” a CD featuring “VeggieTales” characters (assorted, computer-animated vegetables) belting out such memorable tunes as “The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps” and “Love My Lips” ("On the day I got my tooth I had to kiss my Great Aunt Ruth. She had a beard, and it felt weird").

Countless little things make parenthood rewarding, like witnessing my children master new skills and learning about good deeds they’ve done or wise decisions they’ve made independently. And nothing compares to the pleasure of receiving a spontaneous hug, cuddling together as we read aloud a story or watching the kids sleeping securely and peacefully at day’s end.

Then, there are the heart-warming cards and notes, which allow me to see myself though my children’s admiring eyes. I save these in a special box, which I delve into periodically when I need a lift. My nine-year-old daughter is currently the most prolific, penciling messages on scraps of paper that she leaves on my pillow or in my purse. Here’s one of my favorites, written last year:

"Dear Mom, Thank you for being there when I get hurt. You make me feel better when you bandage me up. You say no when you think I will get hurt. I appreciate that. Whenever I get the wrong ice cream cone you trade with me. When I make a mistake you say it will be OK. You always help me pick out which shirt to wear. You always make a good decision, Mom. When I’m sick you always know what I like to drink. Happy Mother’s Day."

Parenthood doesn’t get any better than this.

– Lisa M. Petsche is a mother of three and freelance family life writer.