|
 The
other day at the mall,
I was stopped and asked if I would participate in a survey.
The question was, "What is the greatest invention of
the last 500 years?"
I said it was the telephone because of how we communicate.
The guy next to me suggested it was the television because
it brought us all out to the larger world. The third guy looked
real thoughtful and then said, "The thermos. You see,
yesterday, I put piping hot coffee in it and five hours later,
it was still hot. Today, I put chilled milk in there and now,
five hours later, it's still cold!"
I didn't see his point until he added, "How the heck did
it know the difference?" Oh, the wonders of being flexible! |
Dear Father Joe:
Why should I go to a celibate priest for help when my marriage is
in trouble?
I am going to answer your question in a roundabout
way, but it all goes back to one word: commitment.
This morning my alarm went off at 5 a.m.
Like every day, I rolled over, turned the alarm off, grabbed a good,
stinky, nasty cup of coffee and started slugging it down. (My motto
on coffee: if it doesn't make my eyes bleed, it's not
strong enough). Then I took a shower and sat down to pray. At that
moment, whether I felt like it or not, I was a priest.
Then I went down to my office to look at my
day. I dedicated it to God and promised him I would work
hard at being a good priest. I knew that no matter what I had to
do, whether I felt like doing it or not, today, I was
a priest. I met with some people, got called to the
hospital, sat through meetings, and took communion to someone who
was very ill at home. Through it all, I was a priest Æ
whether I felt like it or not.
So there it is:
COMMITMENT! I know from watching my parents who have been
married 41 years that it is all about commitment. The joy
of marriage is not found in maintaining a feeling of love, but in
living out a commitment to be who and where God calls us to be Æ
whether we feel like it or not. Priests know a lot about commitment.
Their wisdom can be of help.
My daughter is bringing her boyfriend
home for the holidays and insists on sleeping in the same room with
him. I'm opposed to that. What should I do?
Insists? It's your house. She
should insist on nothing but respect for your household and the
rules you have.
You are right to be opposed to what your daughter
wants. Too many people fall easily into serious sexual
sins with no thought of the spiritual or physical consequences of
their actions. By forbidding her from sleeping with her boyfriend
in your house, you are protecting her dignity, your house and the
sacrament of marriage. If they want to live as married people, they
should get married.
I know, I know! You are thinking, "Yeah,
Father, I figured that part out. But how do I handle the
conflict?" I would have to say that, in this situation, conflict
is unavoidable. So, what are the rules here? Above and beyond what
will be written in this magazine, I believe that the key is to hold
fast to what you know to be true.
You can sit her down and gently explain to
her why what she is doing is wrong and that you can't support
it. You don't do this for any other reason than love
for her. I know this can feel like you are being too harsh or even
unloving. However, I assure you that as long as you do this in love,
you are doing what is right.
Enjoy another day in God's presence!
Originally Published: November 2000
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