April 2004
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why these two
burley brothers
went on a spiritual retreat
Nancy Schertzing | Photography by James Luning
 Dean
and Dirk Welte are two burly twins who played high school football.
Dean even played in college. They are the outdoorsman type who,
on the first day of deer season, you can find out in the woods,
or in the spring maybe on a fishing trip in Canada.
They also spend one weekend every March at St. Francis Retreat
Center in DeWitt. Say again. For the past twelve years, they
have been there with men in their parish – St. Paul in Owosso
– and men of several other parishes in the Lansing Diocese.
Fr. Larry Delaney, the director at St. Francis, describes the Weltes
as “full-bodied, all American young men, full of life and vigor.
They are all-around healthy, because they have chosen to include
the full spectrum of spirituality into their lives. They are also
lots of fun.” Why would these two automatically insert a weekend
retreat into their calendar every year? After all, they already
have a busy schedule and are happy with their families, church and
work. Why would they spend their valuable time to do nothing but
sit, pray, converse, relax and listen to talks?
Dirk, who is a network engineer in Mt. Pleasant, puts it this
way: “It is very easy to get tied up in all of the possessions
this society has placed on our streets, in our homes and at our
work place. When a person is surrounded by constant sin and
evil, it is easy to lose track of why we are here. As a Christian,
I need a reality check to put my mind, heart and soul where it really
belongs – with Jesus. If I did not have this annual cleansing,
I would have a hard time dealing with all the mayhem life likes
to throw at us. This retreat is a total rehabilitation of my soul.
It rekindles my relationship with God.”
Dean, an engineering supervisor for the Shiawassee County Road Commission,
says, “We were not made for this world. God has designed
us for eternity. With that in mind, the world can be a cruel and
harsh place to live. A retreat offers a life sustaining environment
that is available nowhere else. God has our complete attention.
There are no distractions or interruptions. You get a full connection
with your loving Father. It is truly a small glimpse of His glory.”
That attitude wasn’t always characteristic of the Weltes.
A year before their first retreat in 1992, Dirk had gone through
a divorce and Dean was having a problem with drugs and alcohol.
They had failed to follow the path set out by their parents, Mike
and Kay, whom they both credit as being outstanding parents and
models of faith.
 Mike
Welte was a pipefitter at General Motors, before retiring in 1992.
Kay stayed home to raise their four boys, and now is secretary at
St. Paul School (K-8). “They are wonderful, spiritual people,”
their sons say. It was the consequences of straying from their upbringing
that got them interested in their first retreat, at the age of 24.
And it was their mother, who has been going to retreats as long
as they can remember, who encouraged them to attend.
At the retreat, Dean recalls being “stirred, blown away. We
saw that we had been living in a comfort zone, picking and choosing
the parts of Catholicism that we liked.” Dirk adds, “We
realized then that we had a long way to go. We had one foot on the
right path, but the other was going in the wrong direction. We needed
to make a big adjustment. We had a void in our hearts, and God is
the only one who could fill it.”
After that initial weekend at St. Francis, they were hooked.
The annual event has become more important and necessary than hunting
deer or catching trout. “I can’t wait until it gets here,”
he says. “And I am never let down. After being battered and
beaten all year long, it is a chance to get cleaned up and recharged.
My wife, Sue, and our two kids are glad to see me go, not just to
get rid of me, but because they know I will be rejuvenated.”
 Many
of the same men go on the retreat from year to year. And though
they don’t see a majority of the other men at all in between,
“after two minutes of gathering together each time, it’s
like we haven’t been apart,” Dean says. “I could
name all of them and how they have affected me and the others.”
Remembering one of his first retreats, Dean shares, “There
was a person hurting beyond belief. He was looking for answers.
With the grace of God working through me, I was able to help him
relieve some of the tension, not by words exactly, but by opening
my heart and showing him how much I loved him and how much God loved
him. Would you believe that person is now a deacon and I go to him
for my spiritual guidance? We are all drawn there for a reason,
to help those who need help.”
“We have seen the retreat change so many lives besides ours,”
Dean says. “Fr. Delaney is inspirational and gets us thinking
in the Spirit instead of the flesh.” According to Dirk, the
atmosphere provides “a chance to put down your guard, put on
your slippers, and relax. The result is more hugs and tears than
a man could imagine.
“The reaction of one man who attended last year for the first
time was ‘I can’t believe I have gone this long in life
without a retreat.’ He has lined up three or four men for the
next one.”
 Whenever
given the chance, Dean and Dirk encourage young men to attend, because
of how it helped them at a young age. They challenge youth not
to be too macho to go. “If every young person could do this
retreat, the world would be a different place,” they say. During
the weekend, as at any retreat center, there are several ways to
connect with God. Over the years, Dirk has come up with a formula
that works for him. “God speaks to me through Fr. Delaney,
Sr. Sue Eichhorn, O.P., the lay volunteers, Dcn. John Sundwick and
other retreatants. I have learned to take everything God gives me
through these people, absorb it in my soul, then take myself to
a quiet place. It could be out in the pine trees, in the barn, in
my room, or in the chapel. I then pour my heart, mind and soul into
an intimate conversation and time of prayer with God. I am now 37
years old, and can honestly say that God has changed my life through
St. Francis Retreat House.”
Dean experiences God speaking to him primarily through the other
men on retreat. “I feel through their testimony that God is
calling me specifically, and wants me to listen to him and follow
him just like the other men at the retreat,” he says.
 “I’ve
found out over the years that God speaks to us in a whisper.
He doesn’t yell. If you close your eyes and let Him take you
into His arms, He will softly whisper in your ear how much you mean
to Him, and how He loves you unconditionally.”
Since twelve months pass between one retreat and the next,
the Weltes have had to work on ways to make the benefits continue
throughout the year. Dean says that whenever he gets down emotionally
or spiritually, he thinks about the guys and the retreat. He is
also helped by looking over the retreat program and the notes that
he took.
For Dirk, the secret is staying close to Scripture. “One
thing I do every morning is spend a half-hour in prayer time and
devotions. That is all part of growing in the Christian life. It
acts like a cell phone charger for me.”
As for Fr. Delaney, the Weltes are impressed with his leadership
of the retreats, except in one area – “his corny MSU and
Irish jokes. He is always bashing us U-M fans. When we found out
he raises 20-25 rabbits, pheasants, peacocks, turkeys and fancy
chickens on the grounds, we had a way to get back at him. We offer
to help out if they become overpopulated. We are pretty good shots.
“Seriously, though, if there is a model priest, he is
it. He is the meat and potatoes of the center; someone who is inspirational,
but at the same time has the firmness to get his point across.”
St. Francis Retreat Center
and Bethany House
 On
95 acres in DeWitt, just west of Lansing, sits St. Francis Retreat
Center and Bethany House. Fr. Larry Delaney, who has been director
at St. Francis for 15 years, lists three goals the retreat center
has for those who come there.
1 To get away from their hectic pace
of life.
2 Have the time and quiet to listen to the Lord.
3 Strengthen one’s relationship with God, or, in some
cases, become reacquainted.
When talking about the need for a retreat,
Fr. Delaney cites a Jesuit study stating why most people never sign
up for one. “It showed that they are afraid of three things,”
Fr. Delaney says:
1 Afraid of the unknown
2 Afraid to be by themselves
3 Afraid of what we or God may say or do to them.
“It is important instead to look at the
experience positively, not fearfully,” he continues. It is
a chance to hear God speak. If we fill our life with noise, we can’t
hear him. Don’t be afraid of the quiet part. Some people don’t
think they can be holy for a whole retreat – that retreats
are just for priests, nuns or special people. But that’s not
the case. Our focus is on the universal Church.”
An individual can come for the weekend or on weekdays for a private
retreat if there are rooms available. The conference rooms at the
center can be used by other groups for daytime or overnight meetings.
On the site, too, is a gift shop with books and music to help with
spiritual development and renewal. It also has gift items and religious
goods.
St. Francis Retreat Center: www.stfrancis.ws
(517) 669-8321 toll-free (866) 669-8321
 Bethany
House, which is just over two years old, is the youth counterpart
to St. Francis. It offers retreats, formation programs and special
events as it “seeks to evangelize and educate youth based on
the teachings of Christ, develop their personal relationships with
God and deepen their appreciation of His Church, so they may go
out into the world and spread the Gospel.” Fr. Jerry Vincke
is the director.
Bethany House: www.bethanyhouserc.org
(517) 668-3747
2004 St. Francis Retreat Schedule
To register, contact your parish representative
or call the St. Francis Retreat Center at (517) 669-8321 or toll-free
(866) 669-8321. For more, log on to www.stfrancis.ws.
Mens’ & Womens’ Retreats:
“Free at Last!”
The suggested donation for the weekend is $110.
Women
April 16-18
April 30-May 2
June 25-27
July 9-11
July 23-25
Sept. 17-19
Sept. 24-26
Oct. 1-3
Oct. 8-10
Oct. 22-24
Oct. 29-31
Nov. 12-14
Men
April 2-4
April 23-25
Sept. 10-12
Alcoholics Anonymous Women
Call (734) 654-7933 or (989) 723-7200
May 14-16
Aug. 13-15
Nov. 5-7
Alcoholics Anonymous Men
Call (989) 725-2300
June 11-13
Oct. 15-17
Dec. 10-12
Special Retreats
May 7-8
Mother/Daughter Retreat
May 21-22
Divorced and Separated Retreat
June 16-17
Nurturing Spiritual Growth
(517) 627-5534
July 12-18
Directed retreat
(313) 730-8759
Aug. 6-8
Married Couples
Aug. 13-15
Singles Retreat
Aug. 27-29
Retrouvaille: A Lifeline for Troubled Marriages
(517) 669-8321
Nov. 19-21 Contemplative retreat for women (quiet)
Dec. 3-5
Married Couples
you can be a spiritual guru
meet Sr. Sue – she is a personal
spiritual director
By Fr. Charles Irvin | Photography by Tom Gennara
 You
are a mystic, and you probably don’t even know it. Mystic
spirituality is the ability to perceive relationships, to see the
divine presence in plain, everyday living. Most of us, however,
haven’t been fitted with the proper lenses so that our eyes
can perceive what God is putting in front of us.
As you read these words, I am sure you are aware of the many
voices calling you to do any number of things. For a moment now,
listen now to your soul. Isn’t it telling you something, asking
you to slake your thirst, asking you for food? Is not your heart
longing for God’s presence? God’s Holy Spirit is right
now, in your ordinary day, offering you what you know deep down
in your heart you really need – closeness to Him. We’re
all so concerned with what this world offers us, but what about
what God offers us? We need to experience His loving closeness.
Without it, we seek bread that doesn’t satisfy.
Perhaps you feel that only priests, monks and nuns can discover
God’s presence in others, in themselves and in the events of
our lives. Yet, we all have urges and quests, which captivate
our thoughts, feelings and desires. If you seek God, you will find
Him. (cf. Matt 7:7-8) If you go to any Catholic bookstore, you will
find an abundance of books on spirituality. They are written for
ordinary, everyday seekers, not just priests, monks and nuns. All
sorts of people are questing for a deepened spirituality –
and you are too! Why not respond now?
We can discern the movements of God’s Holy Spirit within
us. It’s a habit of the heart. All we need are a few easy-to-learn
lessons that will allow us to be more consciously spiritual –
to discover that we’ve been mystics all along. And you can
help others in developing their own relationships with God. When
you develop your own spirituality, you will end up spiritually helping
others.
Are you feeling distant from God? Is your life more burdensome
than it is life-giving? Are you facing some major decisions, some
significant transition in your life? Do you feel like you’re
steering between a rock and a hard place or that you have a hungering
for a new sense of God in your life?
Help is available for you. You can be trained to help yourself
and others. Spiritual direction is a pastoral ministry in which
one Christian assists another in discerning God’s personal
communication with him or her. Growing in intimacy with God and
experiencing His presence, power and love is the fruit of spiritual
development.
A good spiritual director does not so much tell another what
to do as ask the right questions. The goal of spiritual direction
is to “direct” our attention and help us focus on how
we are responding to God’s personal love for us, as well as
responding to what He is offering us. A spiritual director is a
companion who “listens in” on our conversation with God
and looks over our shoulder as we act in response to God.
When you stop and think about it, a good spiritual companion
knows the right questions to ask us. It really boils down to that,
doesn’t it? If you don’t ask the right questions, you
won’t be headed in the right direction or arrive at the answer
you’re really questing.
 Knowing
the right questions requires a modest knowledge of Scripture.
It is also essential to have an answer to the question, “What
kind of a God is God?” Answering that question requires openness
to the promptings of God through His Son, Jesus Christ, and the
Holy Spirit. It is not necessary that one be highly educated and
an expert in such matters. Many of the saints were simple people,
regarded as quite ordinary by those around them. Think of how often
God has used “little people” throughout history.
Sr. Suzanne Eichhorn, O.P., a Grand Rapids Dominican sister, is
very well trained in the ministry of spirituality. She offers
several spiritual programs at St. Francis Retreat Center, DeWitt.
There are directed retreats and opportunities for personal spiritual
direction at the retreat center. Many people are already familiar
with these spiritual renewal events and highly recommend them. But
there’s something beyond them for those who want more.
Beginning as an educator at Aquinas College in Grand Rapids,
Sr. Suzanne moved to Detroit in the early 1980s to become a part
of the Dominican Center for Religious Development. From there she
came, in June 1989, to St. Francis Retreat Center. She has taught
in our diocesan training programs for permanent deacons and lay
ministers, and has given retreats at St. Francis Retreat Center.
Additionally, she gives spiritual direction for a great many people.
Twelve years ago, she began a new ministry which offers an internship
in spiritual direction. Throughout the years, she and team members
from the Dominican Center have trained spiritual directors, who
are presently ministering in Michigan’s Catholic dioceses as
well as in a significant number of Protestant churches throughout
the state.
A number of priests have been trained in this program, too. Just
because one is ordained a priest does not mean he would be a good
spiritual director. Many, if not most, priests willingly acknowledge
that fact. It is a specialized ministry requiring some specialized
training.
I believe there are many people out there in parish settings, hospital
ministries, campus ministries and others, who could become excellent
spiritual directors if they were given some appropriate preparation.
Do not quench the Spirit’s whisperings and urgings! God
is raising up those who love Him to make His presence more real
in the world. Today, more than ever before, our world desperately
needs to receive His daily bread and His life-giving Spirit. God
is waiting for you in your busy and demanding life. Do not allow
false humility to hold you back. False humility is a work of the
evil one – a ploy designed to keep you from letting the light
of Christ shine forth into the lives of others.
Remember that God has fallen in love with ordinary people.
Just as He comes to us in common bread and ordinary wine, so also
He comes to us in our own simplicity, in our shared human nature.
The communion of saints is, after all, not an elitist club. Having
a spiritual life is something God made for us all. He wants to live
in us all, not just in a privileged few.
 If
you, or someone you know, might be interested in spiritual direction,
contact Sr. Suzanne Eichhorn at St. Francis Retreat Center,
703 E. Main Street, DeWitt, MI. 48820. Or call: (517) 669-8321.
FAITH sent writer
Nancy Schertzing
on her first retreat
find out what it was like
By Nancy Schertzing | Photography by Tom Gennara
 The
full moon welcomed me from above the black pine trees lining the
drive. I stepped out of my car and walked tentatively to the
St. Francis Retreat Center front door as a wave of uncertainty and
fatigue washed over me. Images crowded my mind with the projects
I’d left undone, my children begging me to stay at home, my
calendar bursting at the seams with meetings for the coming week.
I questioned whether I had made the right choice, suspending my
life to attend this women’s retreat weekend.
I opened the large wooden door and stepped into a warm, softly-lit
foyer dominated by a life-size crucifix. Sitting at the front desk,
an older woman smiled warmly in greeting. I gave her my name and
she reviewed the registration list. “Have you been here before?”
she asked. “Never,” I replied. Her smile widened, “Oh!
You’re in for a real treat!”
She assigned me to Room 26, reviewed some simple paperwork for
the weekend and directed me down the hall to my room. The hallway,
like everything else I had seen, was clean and simply furnished.
I followed it down to its end, turned right into another hallway
and found Room 26 just a few steps away.
As I opened the door and stepped inside, I was taken by surprise.
This tiny room with cinder block walls and Spartan furnishings put
me immediately at ease. I felt a sense of peace well up from somewhere
deep inside. I closed the door, set my suitcase on the stand, slipped
off my shoes and lay down on the twin bed. Before I knew it, I was
quietly sobbing, releasing the burdens, the pain, the goodbyes that
I carried with me into this weekend.
I knew no one there, and had left so much unfinished work at home.
Still, something about this room, this whole place, seemed to assure
me that everything was OK. These walls offered refuge from the hectic
schedule, the needy family, the relentless crush of daily life.
Here, I could be – just be – without the usual commitments,
responsibilities and efforts to keep everyone’s lives together.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had allowed myself this
luxury.
Marveling at that realization, I sat up and reached beyond
the bed for the box of tissues resting on the desk. My eyes were
drawn to the wall above the bed, to a stylized print of Jesus bowed
by the weight of His cross. A caption under His figure features
the French words, “Mort, oú est ta victoire?”
which translated is “Death, where is your victory?”
The phrase struck a chord in me. I considered its meaning for
a while until I became aware of voices moving past my door. I decided
to follow them down to supper.
Stepping into the dining room, the smell of comfort food and sounds
of easy conversation enveloped me. Women of all ages, sizes,
income- and education levels chatted happily and were eating heartily
all around the room. After filling my plate and making small talk
with my tablemates, we settled into a discussion about faith and
retreat experiences. We left the table that night as friends and
walked together to the first session.
After dinner and throughout the next day, a team of people offered
presentations and lectures. Their subject matter was universal,
yet it applied personally to my life and – I guessed from the
many heads nodding in agreement – to the lives of my retreat
sisters. A banquet of guidance, encouragement and wisdom was set
before us during those hours. Some retreat participants picked over
the words and messages, finding satisfying morsels and tempting
thoughts they might digest later. Others savored moments of deep
insight to deepen their faith for years to come.
 While
many find public speaking terrifying, some women overcame their
fear and spoke powerfully. By swallowing their fear, they
transformed themselves and their struggles into lessons of God’s
love and forgiveness. From answers to lecture questions to moving
testimonies, some spoke bravely of such personal challenges as divorce,
illness, abuse and conflicts at home or at work. And in the process,
they transformed these losses and challenges into strength and sustenance
for life’s journey.
Between lectures and organized prayer, the weekend included time
for rest, prayer, talking or exploring the retreat center grounds.
As comforting as my little room was, the grounds had attracted me
since I first glimpsed the full moon over the pines. I headed out
a door and found myself facing a stand of apple trees, limbs bare
except for the occasional withered fruit hanging from a twig. Judging
from the inviting bench and carefully pruned branches, I could tell
this orchard has offered respite to many in warmer weather. I promised
myself I would rest there if I returned in the spring or summer.
For now, I simply acknowledged its stark, winter beauty and continued
on my exploration of the grounds.
Nestled into 98 acres of rolling grasslands punctuated by stands
of majestic pine and oak, the retreat center seemed even more a
place apart from daily life as I wandered. I breathed the fresh,
frosty air and followed various paths and hillsides, marveling at
the beauty before me. Along one path, I rested on a boulder and
contemplated the beauty of this retreat weekend and of my daily
life. Somehow, this brief time apart had helped me see and appreciate
the many gifts each day holds. Family, work, commitments, even challenges
and loss – I could suddenly appreciate them.
I raised my eyes in a prayer of thanksgiving. As I looked up, I
discovered a cloud immediately overhead catching the sun’s
rays and splitting them into a faint rainbow. Still drinking in
the beauty, I walked slowly back to my room and discovered I had
some time before the next presentation. With no meetings to attend,
no children to chauffeur, no dinner to prepare, I found myself once
again in the luxurious position of simply being. I lay back on my
little bed and allowed my mind to roam over the gifts of the retreat
and of life.
I thought of Jesus’ example of taking time apart – in
the desert, on the mountaintop, in the tomb. Surely, His time
away from the demands of daily life fortified Him and allowed Him
to reflect. My eyes drifted once again to the print on the cinder
block wall. Death, where is your victory?
Where indeed, I wondered. From my new vantage point, it suddenly
seemed just part of the banquet we live each day. I resolved to
savor the bitter along with the sweet, remembering that each transforms
and nourishes us on our journey.
Make your own Mary garden come
alive, indoors or out
flowers of faith
By Patricia Majher | Photography by Philip Shippert
 Have
you ever seen a statue of Mary standing in a flower bed in somebody’s
yard? Though these ‘Mary gardens’ may look modern,
they actually have an ancient history, dating back to 7th-century
Europe, when a saint named Fiacre dedicated his flower garden to
Our Lady.
During the Middle Ages, there were so many flowers named for Mary
that one could create a garden focused on specific aspects of her
life. For example, Our Lady’s Tears (spiderwort) and Mary’s
Sword of Sorrow (German iris) might be used to illustrate her suffering,
while Virgin Bower (wisteria) and Our Lady’s Modesty (violet)
could celebrate her purity. There were even flowers named for parts
of her body such as Mary’s Foot (sweet pea) and Eyes of Mary
(forget me-not) and others that described her clothing, including
Lady’s Veil (baby’s breath) and Our Lady’s Shoes
(columbine). Ever wonder about the origin of the word “marigold?”
It’s a contraction of the flower name “Mary’s Gold.”
When the Reformation spread through the continent, Marian flowers
were renamed in a secular fashion. But, with the help of horticultural
historians and folklore experts, hundreds of the original names
were rediscovered in the 20th century and serve as the inspiration
for Mary gardens, both public and private, all around the world.
The first public Mary garden in the United States was planted
in 1932 at St. Joseph’s Church in Woods Hole, Mass. Its
50 flowers dedicated to Our Lady have survived several hurricanes
and are beautifully maintained today. Probably the largest Mary
garden in the country – installed in 2000 and occupying three
quarters of an acre – exists at the Basilica of the U.S. National
Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, D.C. And another
major installation may be found just east of there, at St. Mary’s
Parish in Annapolis, Md.
In Michigan, the Mary garden at the parish of St. Catherine of Siena,
Portage, is very well regarded. Flanking the south side of the church,
this garden features a specially commissioned statue of Mary, Model
of the Church.
Mary gardens make a wonderful parish, school or cemetery project.
And you can easily adapt this idea for your home as well. Are you
really limited in the space you can devote to gardening? A dish
or patio pot can serve the same purpose. A Web site called Mary’s
Gardens (www.mgardens.org)
is the source for the following small-space garden ideas.
Indoor Dish Version
 Select
a dish or other container at least 3 inches deep. Decide whether
you will place your garden in a north, south, east or west window.
Then, select 4 6 light-appropriate plants from the following list
(common names used here): olive tree, shamrock, star of Bethlehem,
iris, crown of thorns, Kenilworth ivy, Spanish moss, rue, begonia,
lady’s mantle, heart vine, or prayer plant.
Place a 1/4-inch layer of charcoal chips or pellets at the bottom
of the container for drainage. Then fill with a moist, professional
potting soil to 5/6 of the height of the container. Position a small
statue of Our Lady and your plants in the dish in an artistic fashion,
allowing for a soil space around each plant of 1 1/2 times the diameter
of the root mass. Firm the soil, water and move to the planned location.
Add water by filling the space fully from the top of the soil to
the rim of the container whenever the soil is found to be dry. Nutrients
to encourage plant growth can be provided in a water-soluble fertilizer
applied every few weeks.
When plant growth slows or stops, reduce temperature, light, moisture
and nutrients for 8-10 weeks. Then resume normal care for a new
cycle of growth. Prune roots and shoots at the start of a new growth
period to maintain desired size.
Patio Pot Version
 Select
a 10” to 15”-wide pot and 4-6 plants from the following
list (again, common names are used): garden balsam, love-in-a-mist,
pansy, sweet scabious, English daisy, annual larkspur, marigold,
morning glory, forget-me not, patient Lucy, bachelor’s button,
petunia, or zinnia. Choose a location for your patio pot
that has at least 5 hours a day of full sun.
Then, follow the planting, watering, and fertilizing guidelines
described above.
more about Mary gardens
The Web site mentioned in this article
– www.mgardens.org –
is a wonderful resource for Mary garden information, with pages
devoted to everything from computer-aided garden design to mail-order
sources for seeds and plants.
Additionally, Vincenzina Krymow has authored a book that combines
text describing the legends that inspired the names of many Marian
flowers with illustrations drawn from medieval woodcuts. Titled
Mary’s Flowers: Gardens, Legends and Meditations, this book
is available from St. Anthony Messenger Press and can be ordered
online at www.americancatholic.org.
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