June 2004
We have a limited number of back issues available in print.
To request back issues, e-mail jjob@dioceseoflansing.org
or call 517-342-2595. You will be charged the regular cover price
of $2.50 per issue.
a new Dawn
By Cate Preston | Photography by James Luning
Its
the dawn of a new day, metaphorically speaking, for Eagle resident
Dawn Smith. A parishioner of St. Mary Parish,Westphalia, and
abortion victim, Dawn has found hope and healing from participating
in Project Rachel, a ministry for those suffering from an abortion
experience.
Dawn explains that as a part of her personal recovery process,
she feels called to share her experience. Sharing my story
is the next step I need to take to know that I am forgiven and loved.
I have to share my story. God is calling me to. I cant keep
my light under a rock. Receiving counseling through Project
Rachel, having a supportive network of friends and knowing she is
not alone are some of the reasons Dawn is able now to share her
story. I know there are other Catholic women out there. And
I dont think Im the only Catholic homeschooling mom
to be in this situation.
Fourteen years ago, when she was single and facing an unplanned
pregnancy, Dawn made the decision to have an abortion. I
was engaged to be married when I met Ed. We both worked at prisons
in Jackson, and that was a common bond. We would watch the Pistons
and Arsenio Hall. He listened to me, and we had a good time together.
Still engaged to be married, Dawn found herself spending an increasing
amount of time with Ed. We ended up sleeping together, and
I got pregnant. ... We werent serious as a couple. I didnt
know what to do.
Caught in a situation that demanded action, Dawn found herself frozen
with indecision. I had already called off the wedding once
before. I did ask my mother, What if we postponed the wedding
a second time? She said No way. I went to the
doctor and he suggested an abortion.
Unable to think of alternative options, and afraid to disappoint
her parents, Dawn decided to have the abortion. I had
always thought of myself as pro life, but when it came down to it,
I didnt feel there was another option. I felt compelled to
go through with it. Looking back, I know if I had gone to my mom
and dad, Mom would have ranted and raved, but would have done what
she needed to. I know now I could have done it. I could have had
the baby.
Dawn decided to go through with the wedding and get married, but
says, It was doomed, right from the start. Within two
years, with a new baby daughter, Dawn separated from her first husband.
Remembering Ed, she contacted him and they reunited.
After the divorce was finalized, Dawn married Ed. Years later,
Dawns journey of healing led her to seek an annulment of her
previous marriage, and her marriage to Ed was witnessed in the Church.
Dawn and Ed have now been married eleven years, and have seven kids
together.
Project Rachel came into Dawns life just as she was discerning
the decision to become a midwife. Im a doula, a
labor support person, and am studying to be a midwife. I got an
e-mail about offering training for counselors for post-abortive
women, and was interested because prior births or abortions can
affect a current labor.
Dawn contacted Wilson Perkowski, the director of Project Rachel
in Lansing. I talked to Wilson, and told her about my experience.
She suggested that I might be interested in participating myself.
Ive been meeting with Wilson for almost a year now. We met
weekly at first but now we meet about once a month for a half an
hour to 45 minutes. When we first started, it was much more guided.
Shed give me an assignment, usually three questions to think
about. Wed meditate on a Bible verse to become centered. Id
tell her the progress I had made, or would unload.
Motivated
to help other women have positive birth experiences, Dawn also felt
compelled to delve into her past. It had been so many
years since my abortion. I no longer would wake up in the middle
of the night and deal with the guilt. Thats not how it was
with me. Even so, participating in Project Rachel proved to
be a great gift toward healing. Dawn struggled with feelings of
inadequacy and low self-esteem. Through counseling, Dawn found that
many of these emotions were triggered by her abortion experience.
Project Rachel was a great help. When people were emotionally
abusive towards me, I thought, Why not? I deserve to be punished.
I felt insecure, unworthy. Im stronger now, self-confident.
One of the liberating, life-affirming attributes of Project Rachel
is the concept of rebirth. When women dwell on their abortions,
the program compares it to the death of Lazarus, a death with the
promise of resurrection on earth. Dawn describes never having healed
from her abortion, but putting it aside, repressing it. There
was a recurring theme in our discussions this concept of
birth and rebirth. It was the creation of a new Dawn, a new me.
The new life Dawn has experienced applies to multiple
levels of her life, both as a mother and as a professional. Ed
and I, weve always been open to life. We practice NFP, natural
family planning. Im much more vigilant about NFP now. My kids
want us to have more children, but I feel Im being called
to study (to be a midwife).
Internalizing the knowledge of Gods love was a source
of new life for Dawn. I knew God loved me and that I was forgiven,
but I hadnt internalized His love. Now, I know. Its
there. And, by virtue of His love, we need to love ourselves. Could
He love me even though I made such bad choices? Does He love us
no matter what? Yes. No matter what, Hell love us.
Dawn feels that the Catholic Church offers support though the most
fundamental aspects of the faith the sacraments. She
describes the sacraments as multi-sensory, appealing
to the body and spirit. So many women think, Where does
this leave me, as a Catholic woman? They think, The
Catholic Church doesnt condone this. But, really, its
so supportive. There is healing. There is forgiveness. There are
the sacraments. It is truly a hands on approach to faith.
In daily life, the sacraments nourish us, feed us.
Even in the years around her abortion experience, Dawn felt
tied to her Catholic roots. Although she was lukewarm about practicing
her faith, Dawn knew in her heart that she had made a poor decision
and sought forgiveness through the sacrament of reconciliation.
I knew I had to go to confession. I knew what I had done was
wrong. After my daughter was baptized, I started going to church
again, but even then it was hit or miss.
It wasnt until she began researching the option of homeschooling
for her daughter that Dawn felt the Holy Spirit at work. (My
daughter) was almost four when I had a conversion experience. I
realized I was responsible for her soul, and had better get serious.
I was reading Homeward Bound, a book about homeschooling, and there
was a chapter about parents being responsible for their childrens
souls. At the time, it really struck me. Ive re-read that
particular chapter since, and think now that there wasnt anything
particularly powerful about it. It was a good book, but it was obviously
the Holy Spirit working.
The new Dawn was surprising both to Dawn and her
husband. I changed so dramatically. It was hard for Ed. The
new me wasnt who he married. I began going to daily Mass and
saying the rosary. There was a dramatic shift (in our) marriage.
Eds not Catholic, (but) he is supportive and prays with
us. I pray for Eds conversion. I see it happening,
but it will happen in Gods time, not mine. Being married to
a non-Catholic strengthens my faith. God sends us trials to make
us stronger.
In spite of a strong, faithful marriage, Dawn describes the lasting
effects of the abortion. It has always been there, whether
its verbalized or not. I apologized to Ed when I got to the
point where I could see that the abortion had hurt him, too. I had
never acknowledged his grief and his loss.
Dawn
and Ed have decided to homeschool their children, so as to educate
them with faith and morality in mind. In fact, homeschooling was
something Dawn insisted upon prior to their marriage, inspired by
her parents choice to homeschool her two younger brothers.
I told Ed he had to agree before I married him, Dawn
says. I want the kids to be Catholic. I dont want their
peers to dictate their morality.
Through Project Rachel, Dawn has found the strength to use
her experience to educate her children about the importance of respecting
the body and remaining chaste. My oldest children
know (about my abortion). They were surprised. We always pray to
stop abortion. In a way, knowing I had an abortion helps them. They
know they should stay pure and chaste, and save themselves for marriage.
They know because I lived it. Its been a source of grace and
growth (in my relationship) with my kids.
Dawn wonders if the abortion has influenced her desire to help
other women have good birthing experiences. Ive thought
about being a midwife for a long time, for about five years. My
son Neds birth was healing in so many ways, because it was
a home birth. It was the greatest thing in the world, giving birth
at home. Having a baby is a magic time so powerful. Most
women go into labor in the night. Id envision Mary in the
stable, with the stars overhead. Id see the same stars, walking
from the parking lot into the hospital. When a mother goes to the
hospital, you go away and come back with a baby. At home, its
seamless. There is no blip in time. I want to give that
to other women.
Thankful for the opportunity to bring new life into the world, Dawn
is especially thankful for the gift of her newest client. I
have two clients. One is 18, and unmarried. Shes giving her
baby up for adoption. God sent me that one.
This spring the Smith family will celebrate their unborn daughter
with a naming ceremony. I think of her as Jessica; Ed
picked out the name. She would have been 14. Sometimes Ill
hear the kids say to each other, We have another sister or
a brother. I tell them, Weve never met her, but
well see her in heaven.
Project Rachel is an international ministry offering spiritual support
for women and men suffering from an abortion experience. Named
from a Scripture passage taken from Jeremiah 31:15-17, Project Rachel
is an organization that supports those who mourn the loss of a child
through abortion, and offers hope and healing for the future.
Founded by Vicky Thorn, in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee, the program
is designed to provide support and spiritual guidance for those
confronting emotions triggered by abortion. Project Rachel allows
men and women to grieve the loss of a child in a safe, healing environment.
In the Diocese of Lansing, healing retreats, support groups,
counseling and mentoring are some of the many services available
through Project Rachel. Participants may choose to talk to a
priest or counselor, or meet with a support group. The healing process
is enhanced through participation in the sacrament of reconciliation,
memorial services and spiritual exercises. This program is open
to men and women from all denominations and faiths.
For information about the program or to find a group near you, log
onto the Project Rachel Web site at abortionhealing.com
or call Wilson Perkowski toll free at (800) 968-0968. Volunteer
opportunities are available.
Then
your light shall break forth like the dawn, and your wound shall
quickly be healed. (Isaiah 58:8)
St. Louis Center:
an extraordinary place
for extraordinary people
By Bob Horning | Photography by Christine Jones
The
St. Louis Center (SLC), located five miles west of Chelsea, looks
from the outside to be a typical institution for the mentally impaired.
For those associated with it, however, it is much more.
Lisa Roberts, 41, a resident since April 2002, calls St. Louis Center
a very good place to live and have fun. She is one of
60 residents who are there to learn to live more independently.
Many will eventually return to their families or to the community.
The center director, Fr. Joe Rinaldo, SC, states that their goal
is to witness the love of the Church to the poor. ... We try
to build up a family around them and give them a hope for the future.
Part of the preparation toward independent living is cooking, doing
laundry and instruction about personal hygiene. The residents also
learn how to interact with the community at large through field
trips like going to movies, Detroit Tiger games, U of M football
practice or bowling on Friday nights. My bowling average is
70, 80, 90, sometimes 100, Lisa says. Im really
good.
Former assistant administrator, Fr. Matt Weber, was recently assigned
to the Philippines by his order, the Servants of Charity, which
runs SLC and similar centers in 27 countries throughout the world.
Fr. Weber says that society tends to look upon those with
a handicap as not being able to contribute. Instead, we should be
asking, What can they contribute?
Lisa, for example, is in the group of educable mentally impaired,
and works at Taco Bell in Chelsea 15-20 hours per week. She is in
charge of the lobby, sweeping and cleaning tables, and often greets
customers as they enter.
At the center, residents can also learn useful skills during classes
such as arts and crafts. A staff worker taught Lisa how to crochet,
and she became proficient enough to make a scarf for her father.
Crocheting is something that I would have never thought of
doing with Lisa, says her stepmother, Judith Greenbaum. I
am impressed with the staff. Judiths daughter Susie
is also at the SLC and requires constant supervision. Susie, and
others who are in the severe or trainable mentally impaired groups,
will never reach Lisas functioning ability, and may be life-long
residents at St. Louis Center.
Judith considers it a plus that Lisa and Susie are immersed
in a religious, spiritual atmosphere, even if it differs from her
Jewish background. Lisa attends Mass on Sunday and Tuesday
with the other residents, and has religion class once a week. When
Lisa is asked what she has learned about Jesus, and what she thinks
of Him, she says without hesitation, He died on the cross
to take away my sins. He loves me.
Saint Louis Center is located on 180 acres of land, which includes
a pond and woods. Priests, a staff of 55, volunteers and parents
care for the residents. Our approach is to look upon them
not as handicapped, but as persons with a handicap, Fr. Weber
says. They have special gifts as well as special needs. They
have likes, dislikes, personalities, just like us.
The result of this approach is changed lives. Steve Daut,
who for the past four years has been the development director and
in charge of public relations at SLC, tells of a 16-year-old boy
found abandoned and fending for himself in Detroit. After two and
a half years at SLC, because he was treated as an individual, his
ability to trust grew, and he was able to leave and live on his
own.
Another was a 15-year-old who came to us recently, Daut
says. When we noticed that he didnt have a coat, we
gave him one. He broke down crying. It turns out that nobody had
ever given him anything before.
In one sense, Daut could say that his life has also changed since
coming to the St. Louis Center. Having developed a successful business,
he was at a point in life where he wanted to give back to the community,
to do work that was vital and important. On those days when he questions
himself on his decision to leave his business, he says he just gets
up from his desk and goes to be with the kids.
I feel fortunate to have found this place, he says.
To see those kids who have had a lifetime of troubles, abuse
and neglect now become happy and part of a family, cant help
but affect you. They have a simplicity and purity rarely seen
their special gift to the world that Fr. Matt speaks of. Every time
you see these kids, you see the face of God.
While the residents receive the help they need at St. Louis Center,
so do their parents, many of whom have nowhere else to turn. Fr.
Weber terms it being a partner with the family. We try to
support the caregiver when life is fragile.
John and Jan Chattaway of Livonia are a case in point. They have
three children. One, Jordan, developed Lowe Syndrome, a rare but
severe behavioral problem. Violent outbreaks resulted in 20 pairs
of broken glasses over the years, among other things.
Sending our son to St. Louis Center was a heart-breaking decision,
the Chattaways say, but we werent surviving with him
at home. He was destroying our house physically, and our life. We
were hopeless. Different programs and medications we tried werent
helping. Now, with Jordan at the center, it allows us to be parents
to our other two sons as well. The structure at the center has helped
Jordan to do more for himself, and they can take him out safely
into the community more than we were able to. As a result of his
progress, he can accompany us to a movie now, and he pretty much
sits through it. Notably, he has only broken one pair of glasses
since being at SLC, and that by accident.
Though the Chattaways and other parents send their children to St.
Louis Center, continual parental involvement is part of the program,
Daut says. The kids go home every other weekend and during
holidays and vacations. The parents also do volunteer work here,
as do many outside groups.
Daut is familiar with the number of tragedies in society, and his
wish is that they were able to accommodate them all by bringing
the kids to SLC. Or, that at the center itself, he could snap his
fingers and say about different situations, problem solved.
Thats the toughest part of the job, he says.
But the good part is being able to give the kids here a rich
experience they wouldnt get elsewhere. Like Stanley, who was
an angry young man when he came. We stuck with him, and now he is
upbeat, positive, a delight.
the anteroom
of heaven
Mother Teresa House
By Fr. Charles Irvin | Photography by Tom
Gennara
Two
women from Mother Teresa House arrived at Agnes home to find
she had fallen. She had tried to get up by herself to get her
medicine, but her legs would no longer hold her up. She was badly
bruised from the fall, but still painfully conscious. She spent
most of the night lying there on the cold floor, unable to move.
Even with her cancer advancing, confining her to bed for
20 hours of the day, Agnes was alone. She had no family.
Her neighborhood had become a rough part of the city, and the neighbors
she had known for years had either moved or died. For some time,
Agnes had stayed awake at night because she was afraid of dying.
She lived with the fear of being found dead in the morning by her
great niece.
Agnes present sufferings had followed a troubled life of
many personal losses. She had lost seven children in miscarriages
and her only surviving son died at age 14. Her husband had quit
coming home on time at night and eventually left her. She had to
fend for herself all her life, and now ...
The volunteer workers gathered Agnes belongings and brought
her to Mother Teresa House, on North Walnut Street in downtown Lansing.
They placed her photos, her antique clock and her slippers in her
room, and began to surround her with kindness. Agnes mentioned that
she craved something tart, so the volunteers made some lime Jell-O
for her. When they brought it to her, Agnes broke down and cried,
saying, You shouldnt listen to me. Those were,
of course, code words that really meant, Please listen to
me. Agnes desperately needed to talk to someone, and the people
at Mother Teresa House were there to listen.
The very first night at Mother Teresa House, Agnes slept peacefully
for the first time in months. Other changes followed. She was provided
excellent physical care. There was someone there to get her a drink,
help her wash up and answer the phone, so Agnes no longer had to
worry about these things. Her medications began to work, and her
pain diminished.
Something
profound was changing in her soul. Gods grace began to work
in lime Jell-O! The caregivers were hovering over her, and Our Lady
of Sorrows was at work, bringing her Son to this forlorn child of
God, this woman in need of healing and rest within.
Before she died, Agnes had become a more peaceful person. She had
finally arrived at the point where she could allow others to love
her here in this anteroom of heaven. It seemed that
her spirit was healed. Having experienced love, Agnes could then
let herself go into the hands of the One who is Love. Agnes
great niece, her only living relative, also experienced relief,
knowing her aunt was being cared for. Because her aunts immediate
needs were attended, she was able to visit peacefully, and she came
to understand and reconcile some of her family history.
Simply being in the room was a great comfort to Agnes, who at times
would call out to see if anyone was there. The volunteer caregivers
at Mother Teresa House would spend hours at Agnes bedside,
conversing softly or silently praying. On some occasions when Agnes
was awake, they prayed the Lords Prayer aloud for her, and
she would join in praying the words.
People facing terminal illness have often told Karen Bussey,
director of Mother Teresa House, that they wanted to take their
own lives. Again and again, Karen witnesses that this train
of thought evaporates when their basic needs are addressed
when they get pain medicine on time, when they see that their tired
family member has someone there to help, when they dont have
to worry about paying for care they cant afford.
It
is the little actions done by little people that lift
the burden of dying. Getting Agnes a drink of water,
sitting with her, remembering her medicine and helping her sit up
these are things that most anyone could do. It matters very
much to simply be there for one another and to do the
little things. At Mother Teresa House, the residents appreciate
simple comforts such as the smell of cookies or a pot of soup and
the time taken for stories and songs. They value the visits from
grandchildren and friends, and for those with no family, the caring
companionship of the men and women who serve there. Rosaries recited,
a hands gentle touch, the balance of company and solitude
all of these help in heavens anteroom.
Everyone who comes to stay at Mother Teresa House needs care,
but not all need healing. Some come with open hearts, and can
continue loving and sacrificing to the end, while preparing to meet
God with serenity. Other residents, who have lived with hardened
hearts, can now allow others to give them love.
The residents are not the only ones who are transformed at Mother
Teresa House. The volunteers often remark that they are personally
changed by being with the dying. We all need to grow, and the dying
teach us many things about living.
The Miracle of
Mother Teresa House

My husband Rhett Johnston was diagnosed with brain cancer in
October 2002. He died in October 2003. I am not sure how I managed
to survive that year. There is no way to describe watching your
partner, best friend and husband die his mind and body deteriorating
each month; praying for a miracle while trying to be strong and
brave for your loved one. By September, Rhett was in hospice care
at home, and on Oct. 15, 2003, he entered Mother Teresa House.
I heard about Mother Teresa House from a relative and through the
Sparrow Home Hospice Care. I met its director and within a few days
was told there was an opening. The night before Rhett went to Mother
Teresa House was the worst night of my life. I knew my husband was
leaving our family home and never coming back. I didnt know
if I was doing the right thing. I was upset that the miracle we
prayed for had not happened.
I accompanied Rhett on the morning of Oct. 15 to Mother Teresa House.
Its hard to put into words the feelings that overwhelmed me
as I walked through the house to Rhetts room. There was such
a feeling of peace a weight being lifted from my shoulders
like exhaling after holding your breath. I truly felt
the hand of God, or maybe it was Mother Teresa. I wasnt alone,
and Rhett would have a peaceful death.
During the next 12 days, our children and I were able to just be
with Rhett, hold his hand, talk to him, love him. The incredible
volunteers at Mother Teresa House were always there to see to his
needs. He was kept so clean, comfortable and at peace. If I needed
to talk, a shoulder to cry on, someone to pray with there
was a volunteer ready to help.
I didnt get the miracle I had prayed for, but God gave me
Mother Teresa House. I truly believe it was Gods gift
to me and Rhett at the end of his wonderfully full and Christian
life. Mother Teresa House was the miracle at the end of Rhetts
life. I shall be forever grateful for and enriched by my experiences
there. Bernice Johnston
---

Mother Teresa House is a home for the dying, founded by Karen
Bussey in September 1997, at the time of Mother Teresas death.
In reverence for life and for the end of life, the caregivers
of Mother Teresa House surround a terminally ill person with loving,
personal care around the clock. It is a home for hospice patients,
caring for 25 patients in 2003 alone. People of any social, religious
or financial background are gladly welcomed, with priority given
to those in the greatest need. The men and women who serve there
give Christs love to the dying in the same manner as did Mother
Teresa of Calcutta. The care is provided at no charge.
Mother Teresa House receives no governmental or insurance funds,
depending solely upon generous donations from individuals, churches,
service groups and businesses. Although it is not funded or operated
by the Diocese of Lansing, the diocese was instrumental in making
Mother Teresa House possible.
Regular donations on a quarterly or monthly basis especially help
to sustain their work. If you would like to be a supporting Friend
of Mother Teresa House, contact Mother Teresa House, P.O. Box 13004,
Lansing, MI 48901.
Those interested in learning more about the volunteer opportunities
at Mother Teresa House should call Erma Stafford, coordinator of
service at (517) 484-5494 or e-mail motherteresahouse@juno.com.
Dresser Ministry
Fill the drawers with items
a pregnant woman without means might need
By Patricia Majher | Photography by Philip Shippert
In
Nancy Kujawas opinion, a pregnant woman without means shouldnt
have to go without. Thats why her organization, Pregnancy
Services of Greater Lansing (PSGL), spearheads a special program
with area churches that reaches out to expectant mothers in need.
We call it a dresser ministry, she explains.
The idea behind it is to find a new dresser or fix
up an old one and fill it with items that a new baby needs.
Clothing tops the list (see box for suggestions), but you can also
fill the drawers with things like blankets, diapers, pacifiers and
the like.
Weve worked with several Catholic churches in the Lansing
area, she notes, including St. Marthas (Okemos),
St. Thomas Aquinas (East Lansing) and St. Marys (Williamston).
And each one works the program differently. One church might list
the required items on individual pieces of paper for people to pick
up, much like a Christmas giving tree is run. Another might bring
a dresser into church, and encourage people to fill the drawers
as they are able.
Some parishes also include high-ticket items that have been
gently used like car seats, strollers and cribs. We can always
pass these on.
After a successful dresser campaign is finished, the full dresser
and related items are then brought to PSGLs offices at 1045
E. Grand River in East Lansing, where the staff makes sure they
are distributed to young mothers to-be who really need them.
If you know of an expectant mom who could benefit from this program,
have them call PSGL at (517) 332-0633 or visit their Web site at
www.pregnancylansing.com.
If the mother-to-be is outside the service area of this organization,
Kujawa suggests you develop a dresser ministry of your own, or encourage
your parish to start one.
First, you need to get a dresser. New is good, but a used one
will work well, too. If you opt for used, make sure the drawers
open and close smoothly and that the pulls and feet are firmly attached.
If theres any damage to the surface of the dresser, think
about refinishing it or applying a coat of paint. If you dont
know the gender of the baby, neutral colors like white, green, peach,
purple and yellow are best.
Want to get a little more creative? You can also experiment with
decorative painting techniques like sponging, or try stenciling
on a design. Check your local craft store for baby-oriented motifs.
Top off the decorated dresser with a small lamp and a basketful
of plush toys or a starter library of read-aloud books. A childrens
picture Bible would make another nice touch.
Fill the drawers
with love

Nancy Kujawa, director of Pregnancy Services of Greater Lansing,
recommends you gather the following items to fill a dresser for
an expectant mother in need:
Onesies
Sleepers
Blanket sleepers
Receiving blankets
Crib blankets and sheets
Outfits for newborns, 3-6 months
Socks and shoes
Pacifiers
Baby wipes, baby shampoo, baby powder
Diapers
Diaper bag
Baby food and cereal
Formula
Plastic baby bottles
Parenting books and videos
Bibles

In addition to the dresser, you might also want to solicit gently
used high ticket items, such as:
Car seats
Cribs
Playpens
Bassinets
High chairs
Walkers
Strollers
Inspiration from
Blessed Mother Teresa:
Defender of the Unborn

Mother Teresa (1910-1997) was a staunch defender of the rights of
the unborn, who opened her heart and her homes to the unwanted children
of Calcutta. In her efforts to inspire compassion for the littlest
among us, she spoke these words:
Love is a fruit in season at all times, and in reach of every
hand.
Intense loves does not measure; it just gives.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great
love.
Every act of love is a work of peace, no matter how small.
Good works are links that form a chain of love.
We have been created to love and be loved.
|