cover story We profiled teens around the diocese who are active in their parishes. Find out why, and what they get out of parish life. And see what they have to say about their future in the church. Will I stay Catholic? By Bob Horning
	teen essay winner Susie's church used to be a lively bar. Find out how it still has a warm, welcoming feel ­ without the barstools. The early Mass, where everybody knows your name By Susie Skrownek
	last word Will our teens be Catholic? Tips for helping them stay in the Catholic church. will our teens stay Catholic By Bob Horning
	exclusive There is something parents of teenagers sometimes say when faced with the reckless, thoughtless and self-absorbed behavior of our offspring. Why don't you use your brain? By Marybeth Hicks
	special report What makes a parish a great place to be? As part of our continuing series, FAITH looks at the Parish Evaluation Inventory to see what makes a parish successful. Will my parish close?

Will I stay Catholic?
a snapshot of teen faith today
By Bob Horning | Photography by Jim Luning/Christine Jones

Mary Ann Martinez
St. Mary, Adrian
(16, junior)

Two years ago, I was getting bad grades in school, disobeying my parents, making bad decisions. I would probably have been suspended from school if I continued that way. But going back to church regularly and working on my relationship with my mother (the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life) made a big difference. It was tough for her, too. We both had to persevere.

Now we talk a lot about everything, including church and the retreats I go on with her or with other youth. My mother has helped me learn right from wrong. I would like to be able to imitate her spirit, which is always happy, even in difficulties. And her toughness. She never gives up. She has even gone to school to learn English. When her doctors said she needed surgery in order to be able to walk again, but that she only had a 10 percent chance of success, she didn’t waver. Fortunately, the operation was successful. I definitely experienced the presence of God in that situation.

I rarely prayed before we started going to Mass every week. Now I pray while walking home from school, before a test, before and after soccer games, for family or friends having problems. Also, I feel closer to God, I’m happier and I smile a lot. It’s amazing how much a smile can brighten someone else’s day and turn it around. People like to be noticed and loved.

Friends at school think it’s cool that I’m involved in my faith because they know it has helped me stay out of trouble. In fact, I invited someone to the living Stations of the Cross, which I had a part in, and he said he would come. Another friend who hasn’t been going to church has decided to come back. When they see the change in me and I tell them what caused it, they want to come.

More often now, my friends will ask me for advice, or just want me to listen to them. The one thing I want others to know about Jesus is that he loves them no matter what. We are God’s children and he will always be there for us.

My biggest disappointment was when I hurt my ankle before our first soccer game. At the emergency room, they told me I wouldn’t be able to play again this season, but now it looks like I will only miss one month. I couldn’t understand why this would happen, and, at first, was angry with God. But I know that everything has a purpose.

Three other girls and I do a liturgical dance on the Sunday nearest the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe in December. It is a neat way to honor and serve her. We also dance for the mothers at a party for them on Mother’s Day.

Once a month, my sister and I baby-sit for a parish event so the parents can enjoy themselves without their young children. I try to be involved in the parish because a lot of younger girls look up to me and the other older girls. That makes me feel good, and perhaps they will follow in my footsteps by being involved. Like at the living Stations of the Cross, they see us when we are up front showing what happened to Jesus. Maybe that is why my favorite movie is The Passion of the Christ. When I cry through it, I know I’m crying for a good reason.

I plan on becoming a pediatrician or a nurse. I like working with kids, and, since I am bilingual, I will be able to help parents who aren’t when I am working with their children.

Eric Marquis
St. Patrick, Brighton
(15, sophomore)

When the doctor told me last fall that I had a heart condition, my reaction was, “Why is this happening to me?” Sports were my life and now I wouldn’t be able to play. As I turned to God, I have grown closer to him, pray more and found out that he is always there for me. Sports were over, but God has opened up other doors, like piano, guitar, youth group and choir. Now, my life revolves around music and my parish, where I serve in the youth group council, on retreats and as an usher. Church is fun for me – I’m learning more who I am. I can help others who are going through tough times, and I get to hang out with other kids.

David Martin
St. Mary, Chelsea
(16, sophomore)

Seven years ago, when my sister died in an auto accident, I was furious at God and heartbroken.

However, I came to realize that God has a special plan for everyone, and I experienced his presence and love through the support of friends and family.

One way I want to imitate Jesus is by not holding grudges or retaliating when people act like jerks. I have a hard time doing that.

I appreciate my parents putting money into allowing us to play sports, and coming to watch when possible. I respect them a lot, and try not to disappoint or disobey them.

I am happiest when I succeed in something, like a test, or do my best in sports.

My favorite movie is Casino Royale because it has lots of action, and shows the human side of James Bond.

Megyn Ellis
St. John, Fenton
(18, college freshman)

My relationship with God became closer as a result of my grandmother dying a year ago. She was my best friend, so it was a hard time. I turned to God more because people can only help so much. I have found that three things help me get closer to God – Mass, doing activities that help others and praying in my spare time.

I especially felt God’s presence during our youth group’s spring mission trip to Kentucky for Habitat for Humanity. Seeing the new homeowner so joyous that we were helping her made me feel great, knowing that we were doing God’s work.

I will be attending Northern Michigan University this fall to study secondary education. One of my teachers had a big influence on me, and I want to impact students in the same way, making learning fun and using new techniques.

Adam McGuire
Sts. Charles and Helena, Clio
(18, graduated)

I have been so busy with school, church and all my other activities that my parents have hardly seen me for a year. Still, they have been there for me and support me in all I do.

At church, I have been on youth group planning teams, and I was student council president at Clio High School during my senior year. I liked being able to plan big, enjoyable events for the students so that school wasn’t all classes and bookwork. We also sponsored the 5K Dream Run for the community and raised $1,000 for a veterans’ memorial.

I’ve been in the National Honor Society for two years, the yearbook video crew for two years and a student representative to the school board for two years.

A lot of my time has been spent working with the Invisible Children’s Foundation. In Northern Uganda, the Lord’s Resistance Army kidnaps kids, ages 6-14, from towns and villages in order to build up their army in hopes of overthrowing the government. The kids are desensitized – sometimes raped – and brainwashed, then sent back into their home towns to kidnap more kids. ICF was started in 2003 by three college students to bring attention to the situation.

We are so lucky in America with what we have. When the movie the students made showed kids in Uganda walking into the city every night to sleep (literally on top of each other) in a community center to avoid being kidnaped, a few of us felt obligated and inspired to get involved.

In May 2006, we put on a concert at the Clio Amphitheatre, featuring seven bands. We raised $2,700, which goes to help promote awareness, for education and jobs in Uganda, and to pressure governments and the United Nations to fight the problem. I would like to go to Uganda on a two-week mission trip to learn more and to help out.

When people read this, I expect to be at the University of Michigan studying clinical psychology. I am fascinated by how our minds work, and why we do what we do. I want to be able to listen to people and help them.

I also plan to take classes in motivational speaking. God has given me gifts of leadership and organization, with the ability to handle a lot of tasks at once. There are so many problems in the world that I feel it is my duty to help as much as possible with my gifts. I want to be able to inspire others to get involved as I was inspired.

My faith has grown throughout high school. At first, I was content to know that God was there. Through youth group and our annual retreats, it was like God was smacking me in the face to have a more intimate relationship. I pray every night now, and try to include him in everything I do; and I talk to him during the day. I have been so blessed with amazing friends, family and opportunities that I know faith has to be a large part of my life.

My religious and non-religious friends accept and respect my faith, and some even admire it. Occasionally, they will ask questions. I don’t preach to them, though I have dragged a few to our retreats. Afterwards, some responses were that they would never drink or smoke again. It’s nice to know I had a part in that.

If I could tell younger people something, it would be that in high school, you don’t need to give in to the pressures of conformity, sex, drugs and alcohol. There’s no need for any of those things. Why hurt yourself and others, and push yourself away from God? Youth who have faith, especially, should let it be a big part of their life and not be afraid to show it. Don’t get sucked into a bad crowd. Resist the peer pressure to do so. It’s O.K. to be your own person.

A.J. Snay
Immaculate Heart of Mary, Lansing
(16, junior)

Whenever I see a priest, I see a joyful person who is available for other people. I was 12 or 13 when I first thought about the priesthood. One of the guys who helped at our religious education class kept telling me I would make a good priest. When others told me the same thing, I took it as the Lord speaking to me.

So I am extremely serious about it now. I can’t think of anything I would rather do. I can’t imagine life without church every day, being close to Christ and helping others.

For five years I have been an altar server. I am also on the core team of Life Teen, and help with Edge through skits, witness, and talks as part of the catechism for middle-schoolers. I love working with those kids.

Church is like my home away from home. It’s part of me, although it wasn’t always that way. When my older sister became enthused about God through being involved in youth group, I followed her. Soon my whole family was attending church regularly.

Then I went to DYLC, which was an amazing experience – hard work, but a whole week of learning to be a leader and the chance to form friendships that will last a lifetime.

I think most youth are looking for fun and a good life. Lately, though, it seems that more, both Christians and non-believers, are looking for a deeper relationship with God. They know he’s there, and want to contact him, but don’t know how. I tell them to keep seeking and keep up their prayer life. I invite them to youth group. Evangelization is one thing that every parish should be emphasizing.

I feel like I am developing a closer relationship with God. I pray in the morning, at meals, before bed, and spontaneously for tests and problems or challenges. I carry a rosary with me and pray it when I have free time. Plus I average an hour per week in eucharistic adoration. There is a one-on-one connection there, like it’s Jesus and I talking to each other, even if the chapel is full.

My happiest times are when I help someone; even if I have just made the smallest impact, I feel that I have done my best.

What I like most about being Catholic is the belief that the Eucharist is the body and blood of Christ, his life given for us. It’s not just a symbol as it is for some denominations.

In my spare time, I love doing community service, especially Habitat for Humanity because I enjoy working with my hands. I also am a movie fan. I like them all. And I listen to Christian music – some rock – but mostly slower praise and worship. I can see God through the lyrics. It helps me relax. If I had a rough day, it gets me back in the right frame of mind.

We asked teens from around the diocese to tell us about their lives as members of parish communities. Here, we introduce you to some amazing, outstanding and quietly faithful teen members of our church.

Nicole Smith
Immaculate Conception, Milan
(16, junior)

Some of my non-Catholic friends are at least thinking about coming to church. Those who don’t believe he exists, I tell them about the miracles he has done. I am sure I will still be a Catholic in 10 years, since Catholicism has brought me closer to God and because I believe what it teaches more than what other religions teach. Besides, it’s the only church started by Jesus.

Kim Hagadorn
St. John, Howell
(17, senior)

I am an extraordinary minister of holy Communion, teach first-grade catechism, attended Diocesan Youth Leadership Camp (DYLC) and March for Life in Washington, D.C., helped with the “30 Hour Famine” the past three years to raise money to feed the poor, play flute in the high-school band and work part-time.

Being so involved keeps me from doing wasteful things. Some youth are perceived as being lazy – I don’t want to be seen that way.

I invited a friend at school to youth group. He was baptized at the Easter vigil this year. He and his family were both anti-Catholic before. I have also been working on my best friend for two years. At first she was angry, now she has progressed to just being indifferent.

Teaching catechism continually reminds me of the basics of our faith, and helps me learn more when I have to find an answer to a question from the kids. I have always wanted to be like my mom, who teaches catechism to second-graders. She also played in the band.

I am a happy person, hyper, off the wall usually and the loudest in my youth group. I can still study enough, though, to get decent grades.

Veronica Burt
St. Mary Magdalen, Brighton
(15, sophomore)

I have been an altar server for five years, I help with eighth-grade catechism and with the middle school youth group.

Though I enjoy my friends, I’m happiest when I am in my room by myself. I read novels, write poetry or write in my journal and listen to music. I also crochet at home or in the car, mostly scarves or hats that I give to my family and friends.

When I’m facing an obstacle or decision, I think over my options for dealing with it, then pick the best one. I sometimes ask for advice from my sister; she’s 26.

I would like to be an author or an elementary school teacher. Kids are always themselves and don’t worry about what others think, so they are fun to be with.

Veronica is my favorite saint. I’ve been told her story from the Stations of the Cross since I was a kid, of how Jesus’ impression appeared on the cloth that she wiped his face with.

Evan Miles
St. Patrick, Brighton
(15, sophomore)

As teens, we are searching for our identity and discovering our interests. Once you figure that out, you are free to be your best self, and you don’t feel a need to follow the crowd. It seems that you find your real friends then, too, because you attract people with similar likes. Being in youth group has helped me with that. We don’t judge one another; we try to love and respect each other.

I am outgoing. When I am condemned at school for my faith, sometimes I walk away; other times I stand up and ask them why they are criticizing something that has been good for me. I feel bad that they are missing out.

My favorite book is The Lord of the Rings. My brother and dad and I read them together. I would love to have an adventure like that.

Mark Smith
St. Mary, Chelsea
(16, junior)

My biggest joys are my friends, like those at youth group; running – I run varsity cross country and track; and writing. I started writing short stories in first grade, and poetry in eighth grade. It’s a great way to express myself. I plan on having a career as a writer.

What I like most about being Catholic are the beliefs that go along with it, beliefs that I would still hold even if I weren’t Catholic. Being opposed to abortion is a good example. I am very pro-life.

The best thing my parents have done for me is to tell me what the rules are. They let me do what I want as long as it’s not wrong. They have confidence in my character and intelligence to the point that if I do something wrong, I will realize it, take my punishment and won’t do the same thing again.

Jacob Kanitz
Immaculate Conception, Milan
17, senior)

Sleeping under the stars with almost 2 million people at World Youth Day in Germany helped me see the church as one big, happy family, at peace. I met tons of people.

And after DYLC, I opened up more emotionally, so now I can talk to anyone about God. Friends come to me now with their problems because I’m free to talk about mine.

We do a lot of things at youth group like work at soup kitchens, make Easter baskets for the elderly, make blankets for Hurricane Katrina victims – little things to help the world.

Being an altar server for seven years, and an extraordinary minister, allows me to help the priest and to serve the body and blood of Christ. God hasn’t called me to be a priest, but if he does, I’m willing.

Katy Martin
St. Mary, Chelsea
(17, senior)

I am an extraordinary minister of holy Communion, teach catechism to kindergarteners (my younger brother helps me) and am in youth group. At school, I run track and cross country, play volleyball and was vice president of the junior class. In the spare time I have, I like to hang out with friends and read teen romance novels.

My relationship with God is changing from being a routine I grew up with, to freely choosing to believe, to pray and to go to Mass.

Kevin Stevens
Our Lady of Fatima,
Michigan Center
(17, senior)

My biggest hero is my grandmother. She never swears, she goes to church during the week, seems to know everyone in Jackson and is always nice. She is the perfect example of class.

Before bed every night, I try to pray. Sometimes during the day I lose track of God, even though he should be the No. 1 priority. I try to imitate Jesus in that he never gave into temptation. I would like to get better at that.

The time I felt closest to God was at Salesian leadership camp. One night, after meditating on a parable, we lit candles and said we wanted to live like Jesus as a Salesian leader. It was very moving.

I try to stay active by playing varsity sports and spending time at the YMCA. I’m in the National Honor Society, which requires 20 hours of community service every year. With school, working a lot at Andy’s Pizza, sports and church activities, I am busy.

Nick Stevens
Our Lady of Fatima, Michigan Center
(15, sophomore)

Church is quiet, relaxing, calming for me. I like being involved – as an altar server, helping CYM kids and volunteering at events. God deserves to be given back for all he has given me.

When I was younger, I was shy in class at school. I wasn’t happy about my shyness. When I realized life didn’t last long and that I needed to value my years, I decided to not be shy. It wasn’t easy; I had to work hard to overcome it. I don’t think much in life is handed to you. You have to go get it, just like you have to work hard in sports to succeed.

My parents have worked hard to give my brother and me a happy and fulfilled life.

Kevin Mahar
St. Mary, Chelsea
(17, junior)

It’s fun to be at the parish because everyone is so friendly. I always look forward to going back, so my involvement isn’t work.

I love to run. I feel like I’m on top of the world, especially when I’m pushing myself to the limits. At the same time, it’s basically hanging out with friends since we talk a lot while we run. When I run alone, it’s a chance to think, to clear my head.

One of the biggest obstacles I’ve overcome was in track – running a five-minute mile. I pushed hard for it last year, but missed by four seconds three meets in a row. At the last meet, with my teammates pulling for me, I ran a 4:58.

Being Catholic is great because no matter what mistake I make, God will forgive me if I’m sorry. He died for my sins. Once, after I hurt a friend really badly, I asked him and God to forgive me. We have been best friends ever since.

Kristyn Ellis
St. John, Fenton
(16, junior)

A lot of friends I grew up with got caught up in bad things in high school, things they considered cool. That has been sad for me, especially when many of them said they would never do such things. But they made poor choices. I’m fortunate to have my best friend and other friends in youth group to hang out with.

My greatest joy is cheerleading. I made the JV team last year, and should make the varsity this year.

I would like to imitate Jesus by following in his footsteps, and by helping people to believe in him. I have been able to do my small part by such things as going on our youth group mission trip, helping at the nursing home and passing out cards at the mall that let people know how to get prayer or help if they need it.

The early Mass
where everybody knows your name
By Susie Skrownek | Photography by Tom Gennara

A man walks into a bar. He plops onto a bar stool and orders a drink. Although the seats wobble and the wood of the bar is cracked and encrusted with age-old dirt, a romantic tune plays insistently in the background. “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name!” The flashing sign outside the tavern might not say Cheers!, as it did in the popular television show, but universally, people gather in taverns to enjoy a drink after a day on the job. Communities form at local pubs. Patrons may interact with each other, or they may sit quietly. After a time, the regulars expect to see each other when they enter the bar, and, whether they speak or stay silent, a fellowship is formed over their frothy drinks.

There once was a tavern in Lansing called The Maple Hill Inn. Like any other establishment, it was patronized by loyal customers. However, this bar was destined for a greater good. In 1949, Father Joseph E. Wieber led a team to reconstruct the Maple Hill Inn into Immaculate Heart of Mary Church. He became its first pastor and served a community of 200 parishioners. Over time, the small community grew and now unites 1,500 families for prayer each weekend.

A girl walks into a church. It is 8 a.m.on a Sunday morning. She plops into a pew near the front of the church, between her father and her sister. Wiping sleep from her eyes, she scans the crowd. To her surprise, she recognizes many people. This woman is sitting in the same place she did last week! That man sat near that same place, too. The girl even recalls a few names, planted in her memory by her mother.

From an early age, I noticed the regulars attending the early Sunday Mass with me. When the Mass time was changed to 7:45, we regulars only changed our alarm clocks, not our place and not our community. We expect to see each other early every Sunday morning to celebrate Christ’s resurrection together.

I enjoy Mass partially because I enjoy celebrating with the early Sunday congregation. Like Goldilocks sampling the wares of the three bears, I have tried attending other Masses and found them not to fit me as well. The midday Mass has too many families with children who are loud and demand Cheerios and coloring books. (I never needed to be occupied during Mass.) The youth Masses are too loud for me and the homilies too simple. The music is tailored to the younger generation – my generation – and thus the Mass features contemporary Christian rock rather than traditional church hymns. The homilies speak to a youthful audience, too. So, for me, the earliest morning liturgy is just right. I know the community and the community knows me. We have created a fellowship through the celebration of the Mass, generally excluding crayons and skits to promote clearer understanding. The early Mass has advanced my faith because I appreciate the traditional Sunday liturgy.

My membership in my parish community also inspires me to good works. I have been taught to live in the example of the saints. However, I strive to live the example of the living saints I see every week. Many parishioners serve at the prisons, witnessing to inmates who cannot attend Mass. I recognize those who bring Communion to the shut-ins who are also unable to be with us on Sunday morning. My parish also began a rosary-making ministry many years ago. The rosary makers often have bake sales after Mass to raise funds to support their outreaches. These examples of living sainthood inspired me to put my faith into action. I started making rosaries with the rosary makers several years ago. I enjoy this because it connects me to my parish community, which funds the rosary supplies; to the rosary makers of IHM, and to the Catholic community abroad that receives the rosaries we distribute. Knowing that I am part of a worldwide communion motivates me to continue my good works through the resources of my parish community.

The parish of Immaculate Heart of Mary was once a bar. People used to gather there to share drinks after a day of hard work. Now, people gather to share in communion with the Catholic Church. The building was converted from a place to share drinks to a place to share in the Spirit. Now, my parish is a welcoming place, helping to guide me on my journey to holiness. In union with a community of believers, I have learned a passion for the Mass. I look forward to gathering with my fellow parishioners on Sundays. My parish provokes me not only to spirituality, but to good works as well. The members of Immaculate Heart of Mary ensure that I enjoy going “where everybody knows my name” – my parish, full of enduring faith.

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The 2007 Father Charles Irvin Essay Contest Winner

Every year, FAITH awards a $1,000 scholarship to a high-school senior in our diocese, based on an essay on a topic related to life in the church. Our goal is to promote insightful thought and excellent writing, and to encourage careers in Catholic journalism. There are many ways to spread the good news of Jesus Christ, and good writing is one of them. Last year’s essay, written by Katie Phelan, won an honorable mention at the Catholic Press Association’s annual awards. Congratulations, Katie, and congratulations to this year’s winner, Susie Skrownek.

Will our teens be Catholic?
tips for helping them
stay in the church

I can still remember the first conference for Catholic youth ministry leaders. It was 1982 and one of the main speakers was Merton Strommen. He wrote the books, The Five Cries of Youth and The Five Cries of Parents. Strommen had done a sociological study on why people stay active in the church. Over a 20-year period, people’s habits were tracked. One piece of information that really struck me was the reason they remained. The vast majority said they had had a significant experience with an adult leader where they felt loved and cared for.

So, will our youth remain Catholic? That’s a good question. Will our actions communicate to them that we care? Do we commit to ministry with youth the resources needed for their deepening of faith and active participation in the life and mission of the church? Do they have a voice? Do they matter?

Something my dad used to say was, “I’m sorry, your actions are so loud I can’t hear what you’re saying.” The book of James says that, “You say you have faith and I’ll show you the actions that underlie my faith.” Actions speak louder than words.

We have many parishes in our diocese where youth are actively involved in their faith communities, where they are introduced to Jesus in a personal way, encouraged by caring adults, supported by the faith life of their families, and given opportunities to make a difference. Most of them stay.

But many parishes struggle to meet the needs of their parishioners with limited resources. Programs that were once directed by trained coordinators of youth ministry are now led by volunteers. Volunteers can do very well if they have time for formation and networking with others. But often they do not have time and cannot get formation. They struggle to provide effective ministry. What can we do to help?

• Work with neighboring parishes.
• Share resources.
• Share personnel so that youth ministry leaders can be hired who have time for formation. You can’t give what you don’t have.
• Allow faithful youth to step forward. Get them formation and allow them to work with caring adults to plan youth ministry programs and be involved with other parish ministries.
• Increase stewardship, time, talent and treasure. Even with a full-time CYM, other caring adults are needed.
• Ask for help. Nearby parishes and diocesan staff can be of assistance. We need each other.
• As adults, be active in our own faith formation. Our love for God can flow over to others. If we are a light, then we will draw those who search for it.

Merton Strommen only uncovered what we already knew. When Jesus was asked what is the greatest of all the commandments, he said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and all your strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.” Are we the significant adults that someone 20 years from now will remember? Will they remember us as someone who cares? Will our actions be louder than words, and will they see in us the actions that support what we teach? I hope so. Caring adults certainly were key to my personal relationship with Jesus and my desire to follow him anywhere he goes. Peace!

Pat Rinker is director of the Diocese of Lansing Office of Youth Ministry.

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