Depression during the holidays – how can you find joy when you feel joyless?
This has been difficult for me to write, because right before I was asked to write it, I was going through a dark time myself! God’s timing, though. I’ll reveal some of the fruit of my own struggle. How can we work through our dark times – and even find joy – when we feel joyless?
We all go through times when we are down or low. Some people suffer from this more than others, especially during the holidays. Why is this? Holidays are supposed to be fun and joyful! Many times they are, but they also can open up painful memories and instill extra anxieties. Sometimes depression is related to a chemical imbalance caused by a lack of light. The winter blues are real; doctors have studied the condition for a while, and appropriately, named it Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. During the winter months, daylight wanes and darkness grows, triggering chemical changes in our bodies that can lead to sadness or anxiety.
Of course, the holidays bring other factors that can trigger “the blues.” They add stress to people who are already stressed. Work for people who are already overworked. Expectations on those already pushed to the limit. There are increased financial and social demands. People may feel overwhelmed because they have to shop, go to parties, host parties themselves, decorate, send cards – and do it all in a couple weeks. Somewhere in all this, we can lose Jesus! Now that is depressing!
Also, because holidays are often very special family times, those who have lost loved ones may feel their absence more acutely. Holidays become a painful reminder of loss. And then, of course, we all are faced with the emptiness of over-commercialization which blurs the true meaning of the season and real source of our joy – Jesus Christ.
How can a person deal with the blues that can come in this season? We cannot be little Grinches who try to steal Christmas, nor Scrooges who “bah! humbug!” it away. Feelings of gloom do not go away by turning off the season.
One thing I have found helpful is to understand that dejection is not an enemy, but a sign. It is emotional darkness that points us to “move on, change your attitude and thinking.” My little nephew was reaching for a hot plate and someone yelled, “NO! HOT!” He stopped immediately. The words “No! Hot!” were a sign he understood. When people suffer feelings of melancholy, they may become frozen in a place of pain or anxiety. The dark feelings produce more sad thoughts that, in turn, produce more bad feelings. “O what a wretch I am,” says St Paul. “Who will save me from this? Thanks be to God for Jesus Christ our Lord.” (cf. Romans 7:13-25)
Yes, Jesus saves us from all things! He saves us from this. To draw out of our distress we make a choice to draw close to Jesus. We stand in his light. When we do, the darkness shrinks. How interesting to know that to treat SAD, the sufferer is treated by being exposed to more light! They feel better by being in the light!
The good news of this season is this, “Today in David’s city a Savior has been born to you, the Messiah and Lord .” (Lk 2:11) Today! Just hearing that proclamation can bring us out of a dark place. The present; the here and now, is the moment at which eternity touches us. God is eternally now. Now is the acceptable time. Now is the day of salvation. God makes every day and every moment new.
If we start to think of sadness as a sign that says, “No! Hot!”, we can begin to break the pattern of dark thoughts and feelings. We can turn our thoughts to Jesus, our light. His light shines in the darkness and the darkness does not overcome it. (John 1:2) So when we focus on dark feelings, we must hear our minds say, “No! Hot! Do not go there.” Instead, seek Jesus. Say his name. Think about him as a baby in the manger. How poor. How little. He wants you to be there with him. He is happy you are there with him.
When the shepherds were in the fields, it was night. But in the darkness, God was there! Angels exploded the darkness and the message given the shepherds was believed! The shepherds did not just sit around after the angels told them that a Messiah had been born. They were not frozen in the darkness. The light of God was breaking through and moving them to act. They chose to act in faith and considered the possibility that the Messiah had come to them! When they acted in faith at that moment, they found Jesus!
The same will be true for us in this holiday season. Jesus said, “Your father in heaven knows all that you need. Seek first his kingship over you, his way of holiness, and all these things will be given you besides .” (Matt 6:33) In our holiday madness, we must not miss the moment! Jesus is there.

For our Spiritual Fitness this Christmas season, we practice being present to the “present” of Jesus Christ.
Make a list of all the activities you think you must do. Cut out what is unnecessary; prioritize. Include time for quiet and rest, time for immediate family, and especially, time for Jesus. Remember that “Jesus is the reason for the season.”
Focus on the present. Do not compare today with the “days of the past.” When you notice yourself feeling sad, say to yourself, “No! Hot!” Consider the gift of the moment and express your faith that God is with you. A simple sign of the cross, or praying the Our Father, may be helpful. Repetition is the mother of learning, so keep working on this new mental habit. Good feelings will eventually follow.

Sadness is often associated with loneliness. When we are down, we do not want to be with others. Resist this. Be like the shepherds who went to Bethlehem – volunteer some time by visiting hospitals or nursing homes. Jesus is there. Go Christmas caroling. Jesus is there. Say “yes” to party invitations. Do not be a Scrooge. Jesus is there.
Take some time to enjoy the beauty of the season. Turn on some Christmas music. Take a walk or drive to enjoy the lights and decorations. Live in the moment. Some people hate snow – but really look at a snowflake some time and appreciate its intricate and delicate beauty. God created it for us. Think about the wondrous gift of Jesus. God made everything through him and for him. Jesus is the central point of the whole universe. He is not only the reason for the season. He is the reason for everything. Can we really ever make a big enough deal out of his birth? “God so loved the world that He gave us his only Son, that whoever believes in him may not die, but might have eternal life .” (Jn 3:16)
God bless you and have a merry Christmas!

By: Fr. Bill Ashbaugh is pastor of St. Joseph Parish, Howell
Originally Published: December 2004