How do we set ground rules for our adult son who's moving home?
Q: My 22-year-old moved home for economic reasons after finishing college. He acts as if his bedroom is an apartment – am I being unreasonable in expecting him to let us know when he’s not coming home overnight? How about contributing to the household chores?
A: He has been living with peers who come and go on independent schedules. Student life gets started when parents are calling it a day. The student parish that I attend has Masses at 9:15 p.m. just to cater to these late hours! Your son hasn’t readjusted his perspective now that he is back home. He is unreasonable maintaining the student lifestyle without any compromise. Be sure to set some limits as you allow him to regain his financial footing. He needs a plan so that he is making economic progress. Decide on the length of the stay. As an adult, he should pull his weight when it comes to household chores. It is reasonable for parents to know when everyone in the household is in for the night, not because you are “keeping tabs” on an adult child, but because unpredictable absences lead to thoughts of accidents and restless sleep!